It’s normal to ask God, “Why?”. Right?
“Why me?” Or, “Why did this happen?”
Why did my Grandma get Alzheimer’s? Why did my Mom die? Why did I have two miscarriages?
In my previous post, I shared how I found peace after having two miscarriages within four months.
Here’s a brief recap. In a book about death, I read how a shepherd picks up two lambs, one in each arm, causing their mothers and the rest of the herd to follow them through dangerous terrain and on to greener pastures.
It was an eye-opening analogy of God calling our unborn babies to heaven so that we mothers would be less afraid to follow. I looked forward to heaven in a new way.
I had a new perspective on death but I still wondered, “Why did this happen, God?”
Three months after my second miscarriage, we had a house fire. We saved our pictures and a few mementos, but almost everything in the house was saturated with water and/or the smell of smoke.
For five months, my husband and I lived in a downtown apartment with our two sons.
Also, I was pregnant.
Meeting with the builder to go over plans, picking out carpet, flooring, siding, paint colour, kitchen and bathroom cabinets, doors, choosing appliances, shopping for beds, bedding, and blinds; the list of things to do was endless. It was exhausting.
The day finally came when the house was done. We moved in and two months later, I gave birth to a very demanding baby.
I didn’t ask God why He gave me a difficult baby. I didn’t ask God why we had a house fire. We went from one bathroom and a partial basement to THREE bathrooms, main floor laundry, and a full-sized basement.
Plus, we now had more yard space AND a brand new garage! We knew we were blessed. God was taking care of the needs of our expanding family.
Blessed by a house fire?
Even with months of decision making and buying, the result was worth it.
Blessed by miscarriages? Even the miscarriages had fit into God’s plan.
It didn’t take me long to see a bigger picture. If I had not miscarried the first time, the baby would have been born right around the time of the house fire.
If I had not miscarried the second time, that baby would have been born while we were busy with rebuilding and purchasing. I was grateful that I didn’t have to look after a newborn baby during that time.
Lucky me, you might say. I could see how God had planned it all out. I knew why, at least I thought I did. As humans, our brains naturally try to make sense of everything that happens in our lives. We try to figure out why!
99.9% of the time we’ll never know. We’ll rarely see the big picture. God doesn’t normally allow us to peek behind the curtain at His ultimate plan so we can make sense of the mess we’re going through.
So many times we want to know why things happen as they do, especially the bad things.
Why do bad things happen to good people?
I heard a story about a dying cancer patient. Even though he suffered tremendously from the effects of chemo, he didn’t ask, “Why me?”
Instead, he said, “Why not me?”
What a heavy question. And not one I’ve ever been strong enough to ask while enduring a trial such as a miscarriage.
Humans don’t naturally embrace uncertainty, adversity, suffering or death. We’d rather have lives that are smooth and carefree. We like to know that everyone we love is happy, healthy, and safe.
But what would be the point? If our lives went along without challenges and everything was going right, we wouldn’t need God.
The valleys I’ve experienced give me a greater appreciation for my everyday life. There’s nothing like a trip to the ER with a very sick child that makes me long to be home, even if that means I’m cleaning up after kids or listening to them complain.
It’s through the biggest struggles in my life that I’ve learned that God is the Ultimate Comforter. It’s a great relief to know that He knows what’s happening. He knows the big picture. He has everything under control.
I don’t need to know why. I need to trust Him.
None of us know when the next hardship – or celebration – will pop up.
But we can be certain that the Lord works out everything for His purposes. (Proverbs 16:4)
His purposes are not to make us happy. Then we’d likely fail to see our need for Him if He gave us everything we wanted. We would be like oversized toddlers. Yikes!
God would not be God if He gave us everything we think we need or want.
I choose to trust God because I have faith that He is the Creator of this world and Overseer of everything.
It’s still hard to not ask, “Why me? Why is this happening?”
It’s human to want to know why. In those times, I focus on Proverbs 3:5. “Trust in the Lord…lean not on your own understanding.”
I pray that the next time you find yourself wondering why you’re experiencing a difficult trial, you’ll choose to cling to the Ultimate Comforter. The One who knows it all and has a plan for every good — and bad — thing that happens to us.
Cast your cares on Him (He can handle it), seek God first before everything else, and cling to the knowledge that He will make everything work out for good in the end.