I was 20 years old when my mom died. I honestly didn’t know it at the time, but I was going to miss my mom a LOT.
I met my husband on a blind date 14 months later, we were married within a year, and not quite three years later, I became a mom.
Being a new mom is incredibly difficult. At least it was for me.
Postpartum hormones, lack of sleep, and having life suddenly revolve around the well-being of a helpless infant is draining. I also had my share of problems with breastfeeding, including a jaundiced baby and recurrent mastitis for more than three months.
I couldn’t call my mom. I couldn’t complain to her. I couldn’t ask her to come and help me out. I couldn’t hear her scold me and tell me to pull up my big girl panties and just deal with it.
I felt incredibly alone.
I had my second child 16 months after my first. Then I had two miscarriages, followed by a house fire. My third son was born two months after we moved into our new home and then my fourth successful pregnancy was threatened by a subchorionic hemorrhage.
After my daughter was born, depression hit hard. I struggled to get out of bed. I tried to keep calm and keep it all inside. I’d been trying to keep it all inside my whole life! I was raised by parents who thought that children shouldn’t talk back, much less discuss things, with their elders.
I ended up in counselling when my daughter was five months old. I came to the realization that I’d never dealt properly with my mom’s death. And so the process of unwrapping my grief began.
I had just taken the first steps to addressing my complicated emotions when I found out I was pregnant. Again.
My final pregnancy ended prematurely. My baby, unable to breathe or eat on his own, spent three weeks in the NICU. I had four little ones at home. I cried – or felt like crying – almost constantly as I shuttled back and forth between the hospital and my home during an incredibly cold and stormy December.
Life hasn’t been easy. Being motherless was never my wish. But I’ve survived and I want to help other motherless moms know they’re not alone.
You can get through these challenging years of raising children without your mom. You are not alone.
I’d be honoured if you would join me here at Motherless Moms.
What You Can Expect from me
At Motherless Moms, you’ll find blog posts about my experiences as a motherless mom. I also write Bible-based devotionals that share how God has helped me over the last 19 years of motherhood.
That said, you don’t have to be motherless or a mom to be here. I want my faith struggles to encourage all Christian women!
If you’re on Instagram, please follow me there! I want IG to be the place I can hear from other women. I want to know what you’re going through, what you’re struggling with. If you ever have a prayer request or a listening ear, use the contact form below or message me on IG.
I currently have two writing projects on the go. I’ve written the first draft of my memoir about my experience as a motherless mom. This has been harder for me than I imagined. My intention is to make it into a memoir/workbook to help other motherless women, if I ever get it done!
My second project is a Bible Study for women. You’ll have to stay tuned to hear more details about that!